BLT-In-a-Bowl

Step 1: Gather the finest ingredients.

Step 2: Layer croutons, Baconnaise, lettuce, tomato, more croutons,and even more Baconnaise in the bowl.

Step 3: Mix thoroughly.

Step 4: Enjoy while watching your favorite mid-afternoon
television programming.

Baconnaise is manufactured in beautiful Seattle, WA.

I don't feel so well.

Breaking News

I received word from my colleagues on the east coast this morning that...

BURGER EXPRESS IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!

Now Doug has a new reason to visit Carteret again besides dredging up repressed childhood traumas.

You may recall my reaction to this landmark eatery's closing last year. (Surprisingly, that article is the top response when you Google "Burger Express" and has provided a steady stream of visitors to this site, to whom I say Welcome!)

Brenden Stuffs the Truck

My plan was to try and write up something poignant and maybe even inspirational about Brenden Foster, but I just don't know what to say that his actions don't already shout. His story goes so far beyond what we expect of ourselves and one another that before you can begin to understand the breadth of his selflessness and the tremendous poise he shows, you have to trick yourself into forgetting he's only eleven years old. And even then, it's still difficult to comprehend. And even harder to believe.

Brenden Foster is an eleven year old in western Washington dying of Leukemia. He suspects he'll be dead within the week. When given an opportunity to have a final wish, Brenden gave it some thought and instead of choosing a trip to Disney Land or a chance to meet his famous athlete like so many other boys his age, Brenden wished to feed the homeless.

His wish was heard around King County and, last Thursday, together with KOMO News, Fred Meyer, and Northwest Harvest and Food Lifeline food banks, hundreds of people filled three semi-trucks with food donations and donated over $60,000 in cash... in a single night.

You can read several stories about Brenden's wish here, here, and watch a video here.

The manager of the food bank where I volunteer on Fridays said it best when he said, "I hope my kids grow up to be one-tenth the kid Brenden is."

The world is going to lose a good one this week. Remember Brenden and remember the less fortunate this week of Thanksgiving and give what you can.

Surprisingly Tasty

Oh, Maruchan, where were you when I was in college?

Not exactly "camping food" but if there's a better meal out there for a dollar, then I'd like to see it. This noodles and vegetables meal seriously kicks the MSG out of ramen and while the seasoning leaves a little to be desired, it was tasty enough that I actually wished I had bought a second box. I guess I'll just have to eat the Entenman's... sigh.

And for no reason in particular, the official Maruchan commercial:

Love, Chaos, and Dinner

Yesterday was my birthday -- thank you -- and it featured many of the same things I've come to look forward to every October first. It begins with a pre-dawn wakeup so I can have breakfast with Kristin before she goes to work, then moves on to a crusty-eyed opening of gifts that I'm too asleep to show proper appreciation for. The day consists primarily of me doing a whole lot of nothing, and always culminates with a giant slab of marzipan-covered raspberry and cream layer cake from Nielsen's Bakery in Seattle. This is my seventh birthday on the west coast and that cake has been the star attraction at every one of them -- we even brought it on an overnight mountain biking trip in 2005.

So yesterday was a fine day spent doing a little bit of work, some research for our RTW trip, and playing plenty of Pure. Kristin had gotten me a 16-year old bottle of Scotch and the book, "The Long Walk" by Slavomir Rawicz for gifts. I had never heard of the book, originally published in 1956, but it's a first-person account of Slavomir's flight across thousands of miles on foot from a Siberian labor camp in 1940. It sounds incredible and came highly recommended, she tells me.

But that wasn't all she had planned. Unbeknownst to me, she had also arranged for us to go to Teatro Zinzanni with friends of ours. The best way to describe Teatro Zinzanni is that it's a dinner-theatre with a heavy dose of audience participation (or, in my case molestation, but more about that later) and some impressive Cirque du Soleil-styled acrobatics. I had always wanted to check it out, but for one reason (the cost) or another (didn't want to go alone) we never did. In a word, it was fantastic and I'm really glad we went.

For starters, the food was fantastic. I'm told famed Seattle chef Tom Douglas designed the menu and every piece of the five-course meal was fantastic. Perfect serving size, excellent choice of paired wines and beers, and great service. You can see last night's menu right here -- I had the tuna. So the food was great, but I really need to back up and describe the setting. We're in a circular dining room with a luxurious high-brow "circus" feel to it. I know that makes no sense, but if you imagine velvet instead of vinyl and feather boas and masks instead of bulbous noses and suspenders, you should get the gist. The performance took place right in the center of the dining room floor, within feet of the tables and everyone is seated in a circle around the room so that they're facing the center.

Me, Kristin, Katrina, and Allan

Our table was on one of the aisles, right near one of the ramps leading "backstage". I was seated on the end which meant that I was continuously receiving attention from the performers and service staff (performers in their own right, to an extent) as they walked by.

We were there for the show "Quest for a Queendom" which featured a number of comedic performers and acrobatists from around the world and, also quite the Queen from the Seattle area as well. There was a fair bit of audience participation involved as the Queen's flamboyant tranny of a man-servant set out to find a new consort for the Queen. Later in the night, the cross-dressing Manchester decided he would become Queen -- and he chose me to be his new conquest. Earlier in the night he had stopped alongside our table, unbuttoned my shirt and proceed to rub my chest hair. I was a good sport so I guess he figured he'd be able to use me later in the show.

And used me he did.

I was center-stage for at least fifteen minutes, being slowly, deliberately, prodded, poked, and treated like the slab of man-meat Manchester was looking for. And little by little, he transferred his costume to me. First the frilly lace fan. Then the enormous 15-pound wig/hat. Then the enormous ballroom dress. Lastly some makeup. The audience was howling. Kristin was doubled-over laughing as hard as she ever did in her life. Manchester had unbuttoned my shirt, pulled the shoulders down over my arms and paraded me in a circle while rubbing my chest and grabbing my ass. What could I do but play along and have fun? So I gave him seductive glances, I held his hand, and when beckoned near, I ran as daintly as I could without spilling the hat, and leapt into his arms. It went on for a while and I even got to make some jokes that he'd repeat in the microphone. Each one got a huge laugh and I'm pretty sure they were laughing both at me and with me. Hell, I was laughing at me too.

Finally, Manchester and I were given the Queen's blessing and permitted to elope. We drank celebratory glasses of wine, arm in arm with the Queen, then paraded off stage to where a photo was taken of me, the Queen and Manchester. I then got to go back on stage again and take a couple of bows. Upon being instructed to bow towards my wife, Manchester took the opportunity to get in one more solid two-handed squeeze of my ass.

Come for the food, stay for the sodomy.

I'm going to regret this for years, but here's a look at what these heathens did to me.

Queen, Queen, and Queen

In spite of the abuse I had taken, we had a fantastic time and I highly recommend Teatro Zinzanni to anyone who doesn't mind a bit of risque humor. It's definitely not a place that's very kid-friendly and you should dress up a bit for it. But if you have a special occasion coming up, and have plenty of room on your Visa, then get reservations and enjoy. The show was well-choreographed with dinner service and we were in the theatre for 4 full hours of entertainment (absolutely fantastic singing and music by the way) and food. When you factor in the five-course meal and entertainment and the length of time you're there, the $100/pp charge is actually quite a good deal. On the other hand, the photos, wine, beer, and mixed drinks hit our foursome for an additional $240 so consider yourself warned.

Chopstick Crazy

One of the skills I've mastered since moving to the greater Seattle area is that of using chopsticks. Kristin and I love the diversity of the area and have a favorite restaurant in each of the major Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, Japanese, and Thai flavors. And as a result we've become fans of the chopsticks, even so much as to know that we prefer the throwaway wooden ones to the fancy (but slippery) porcelain ones. We've come a long way since the days of "experimenting" at the barely-edible Panda Express in Bridgewater Commons.

But, as I learned today, there is such thing as too much chopsticks.

My friend Derek and I capped off a rather tough midweek mountain bike ride tonight with a trip to the Rogue Brewery in Issaquah. It was a perfect night for dining outside and Derek snagged us a table on the sidewalk so we could watch the bikes and stretch out -- and by stretch out, I really mean air out. Derek still had his Shimano SPD shoes on and, as for me, no amount of wet-wipes and deodorant could be sure to eliminate the stench I was undoubtedly emanating.

Rogue has some pretty good beers -- you may have seen their Dead Guy Ale or Old Crustacean barley wine in a micro-brew store near you -- but their guest beers list is sometimes even better. Today they had the Avery Maharaja that recently came recommended by the biggest beer afficionado I know. It was superb. Expensive, but excellent. And 9.7% in alcohol.

So Derek and I ordered up some Maharajas and a couple of Kobe beef bacon cheeseburgers and I splurged and had a cup of the Kobe beef chili. Those who have yet to visit us out here should know that the food in many of the local breweries is as good if not better than most proper restaurants. Certainly better than the TGI McApplegans.

We drink our beers, talk about mountain biking, cars, videogames, and compare and contrast various Toronto strip clubs. You know, your basic guy talk. Then the food comes out and on each plate is a pair of chopsticks.

Derek's plate is put down first and I can immediately sense his mind shifting into overdrive. His brow furrowed, he adjusts his posture in his seat, and his laid back appearance becomes slightly more inquisitive. My plate is put down shortly after and although mine also has the set of chopsticks, Derek doesn't see it. He thinks that only he received the chopsticks. He thinks that only his bacon cheeseburger has come with a pair of chopsticks.

Derek is Chinese.

"What's with the chopsticks?" he asks. There's a slight trace of angst or defensiveness in his voice.

The waitress stumbles over her words. "Um, yeah, umm, I don't know." She seems to sense the possible insult or that she's perhaps been caught in a bigoted practical joke and she's visibly uncomfortable.

In hindsight, I could have kept my mouth shut and carefully hid my pair of chopsticks and sat back and watched the fireworks (no Chinese pun intended) unfoil, but I couldn't do it. I was too hungry to suffer the delays, however funny they may have been.

"I have a pair too. What is it, because we ordered Kobe beef, the chef thinks we want to eat our burgers with chopsticks?" I was the only one who made the connection.

The waitress was thankful of the out I had given her, perhaps sensing how insulting the harmless decorative utensil may have been perceived by someone of the Asian persuasion. Especially if that person is the type who sees insult where there is none.

"Yeah, that must be it. I really don't know," the waitress said. She couldn't get away fast enough.

"I thought it was because I was Chinese," Derek said.

I'm pretty sure he was joking. Actually, I'm all but certain he was joking. But I was too busy shoveling french fries into my mouth to tell... with my chopsticks.

Naturally Raised Burritos

Spent most of the day on the couch with a fever and mild nausea today so I couldn't get around to posting anything. Hopefully I can kick this bug and get out on the bike tomorrow or, more importantly, feel good enough to drive the 4+ hours to Squamish, British Columbia on Friday for a race this weekend.

Anyway, I wanted to point out a terrific article about Chipotle Mexican Grill that's in this week's issue of Newsweek. Chipotle is one of my absolute favorite places to eat, not only because the food is delicious and pretty inexpensive, but because the ingredients are of a very high quality and their company practices are tremendously impressive for what amounts to little more than a fast-food restaurant.

With over 700 restaurants in the US now, you've got to have one by you. And if you've never been to Chipotle, do indeed get over there and try it out.

Here's my $5.95 go-to burrito:

Barbacoa beef
rice (with lime & cilantro -- it's awesome!)
black beans
chopped tomato
green tomatillo salsa
cheese
sour cream (a little)
lettuce (a little)

Take a plastic knife and cut it in half, straight through the foil, shake some chipotle-flavored tobasco onto it and use the knife to jab the sauce down into the burrito. Voila!

You must also get a bag of chips, but forego the salsa or guac. You don't need it. The chips have a light bit of lime and sea-salt on and are best eaten plain. So good!

Horses, Vista, and a Guy Named Stan

My bundle of various Adobe CS3 products arrived Friday evening and my initial excitement was quickly squelched by the realization that it wouldn't install on my computer. Oh, it should have installed without trouble, but after attempting the solutions detailed on over a dozen "knowledge base" articles on Adobe's website, I came to one that simply said, if nothing else works upgrade to Vista.

Sigh.

I also picked up the Infinity Pro HDMI capture card on Friday and knew a Vista upgrade was going to be required to get that running -- and to maintain friendships with a certain local MS employee -- so I spent Friday night preparing for the dirty deed. I copied everything and anything I can think of onto my external 250GB harddrive. And by everything and anything I mean everything except for the all-important product activation keys I would need to re-download electronic software purchases. And email. Oops.

Saturday morning came as it always does and I rushed over to Staples and picked up an upgrade version of Vista Ultimate. I intended to do a clean install rather than a straight upgrade. I knew the odds of catastrophic failure on my part were greater, but I really wanted to at least feel like I had an uncluttered new PC.

The install would have to wait. We had a date at the race track with friends for the opening weekend. Emerald Downs is only about 30 minutes away and is a pretty fun way to spend the day. Kristin and I brought $100 and intended to nurse it through the ten races and, if all went well, enjoy a few beers and hotdogs along the way without having to make a run to the ATM. We typically bet about $12-14 per race and were lucky enough to win about $18-20 on each of the first few races. Things got even better after that though. We hit the trifecta in the 5th race and won $256 on a $2 bet. That was exciting, save for the realization that if not for a totally bone-headed maneuver on my part, we would have won close to $2000. In addition to a random assortment of $2 bets for each race, we also made a couple of $1 superfecta bets. Winning a supefecta bet requires you to predict the first four finishers in order. Some call it a sucker's bet, but I don't see it that way. It's only a dollar, and you're guaranteed to win over a thousand if you hit it. You mean to tell me you wouldn't risk a latte on a couple of chances to win a grand? The odds are steep, but they're still a zillion times better than winning the lottery.

Anyway, we did have the correct four horses picked for one of our superfecta bets for that race -- but rather than just adding the fourth horse (#6) to the tail-end of our winning trifecta pick, we jumbled the four horses up in a totally different order. Had we have simply stuck with the trifecta-winning order and added the fourth horse to it, we would have pocketed over $2000 on a total $3 bet. I hate even typing that. We won some more during the final races, but also bet larger quantities too and ultimately went home with $320 in our wallet and a belly full of beer and snacks. Our friends won a couple of $2 show bets, totalling about $5 in winnings. Between me and the 1's and 0's of the web, I don't think they were betting enough to have much chance in winning. From what little I know, horse-racing is like playing craps in that you have to have a lot of bets on the table to have a good chance of winning.

The four of us came back to our place to watch Into the Wild and I ordered some pizzas with our winnings. The movie was just as good the second time through, but I had forgotten how long it was (2:27) and they didn't leave until almost 11pm at night. Vista had to wait until Sunday.

Sunday was Vista day. Kristin helped prepare me for my arduous quest with a plate full of french toast and a hot mug of coffee, then it was upstairs to my office to slay the dragon that tormented my dreams the previous two nights.

The install went smoothly, all things considered. Windows dumped my old stuff into a Windows.old file on the C drive that allowed quick access to some of the essentials. This came in handy to an extent, but I had nearly all of it already backed-up anyway. It would have been even more helpful if it had saved the "app data" folder, but it doesn't.

As for the problems, there were a few. For starters, Vista wouldn't recognize my printer and after much trial-and-error I learned that HP is refusing to release a driver update for the printer I had. The printer was over 5 years old but still worked very well. Other owners were told by HP to buy one of their new printers. I think it's pretty lousy that we can't even expect things to last more than 5 years anymore without the manufacturer deeming them obsolete. I was pretty ticked off about this and was determined to buy an Epson or Canon instead, but HP is running a program through May 3rd with Staples that gives you $50 off a new printer if you recycle an old one. I ended up getting the HP Deskjet 6988 which has built-in wireless networking -- Kristin is thrilled to be able to print without having to carry files on a memory stick to my PC. And, to be honest, the selection at Staples was pretty lacking in terms of non-HP printers.

Our mid-crisis trip to Staples did have the added benefit of introducing us to a barbecue place in Issaquah called Stan's. The owner grew up in Kansas City learning how to smoke meat from his father or grandfather or uncle or somebody and it definitely shows. I'm a big fan of barbecue and I had been wanting to eat at this place for a while and just never got a chance to. I knew it was going to be good before we even walked inside -- you could smell the smoke on the sidewalk. Kristin and I shared the Who's Your Daddy combo platter: 1/2 pound pulled pork, 3 ribs, 1/2 pound brisket, 2 hot links and 2 sides. We ate until we were full and still have enough for at least 2 more meals. Everything was delicious (the ribs were the low-point, If I had to pick one) and it only cost $24. I think I have a new favorite place in Issy to eat, even if it is decorated in Kansas City Chiefs memorabilia -- it's a good thing the Seahawks moved from the AFC West to the NFC West, otherwise I'd have to boycott this place. And that would be a shame.

Back home, I ran into a few other problems with the upgrade that stemmed from having purchased program upgrades online and forgetting to either burn the download file to a disk or saving the activation key. I also ran into other printer-related problems but a quick Google search found the answer -- I had to change the setttings in the "turn Windows features on and off" area of Control Panel. Oddly enough, I had to repeat this step in order to get the printer to work on our two laptops too.

All in all, everything went really well. Vista recognizes my 4gigs of RAM, all my programs installed easily, driver updates were easy to find online, and the computer is running very fast and appears very stable. The only really big hiccup that had me banging my head on the desk (other than the printer problem) was that I couldn't get the capture equipment I have for the Nintendo DS to work -- and I desperately need it to work. Long story short, I was emailed the Vista drivers for it this morning. That was a close one!

Seattle Tops List for "Healthy Living" Cities

Cooking Light magazine, whatever that is, came out with a top 20 list of best US cities for healthy living and gave the top spot to Seattle due to what it says is "an abundance of fresh local foods, walker-friendly streets, and inclusive attitudes helps make Seattle America's best city for healthy living."

See the list on CNN or check out the full blurb on why Seattle topped the list at the Cooking Light site.

Whether seen from the vantage point of a peaceful kayak excursion on the waters of Puget Sound or a morning tour of bustling food lover's mecca Pike Place Market, Seattle always appears to be a place where healthful living comes easily and naturally. In our year-long countdown of U.S. cities that epitomize the Cooking Light philosophy, Seattle ranked highest for dollars spent on parkland—$266 per person annually, according to the Trust for Public Land. The American Podiatric Medical Association ranked pedestrian-friendly Seattle a top spot for walking. Nearly 85 percent of city residents report exercising regularly and 89 percent say they are in good or better health, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data. And when Seattleites are ready to indulge, they can do so in any of the city's many top-rated restaurants—it's home to both numerous James Beard Award-winning chefs and restaurants ranked "extraordinary to perfection" by culinary review, Zagat. If you love Cooking Light, we think you'll love Seattle, too.

Portland, Oregon came in second. I wonder if they had included Canadian cities, if it would have been a clean sweep for the Pac NW with Vancouver, BC as well? I bet it would have. Philly came in 9th and NYC in 15th for my east coast readers who'd rather not click on the link. Boston came in 6th, but I'm sure they would have rather have won the Super Bowl than beat NY in something this trivial.