The following is a transcript of your basic conversation between man and wife. Basic, that is, if you live in my house.
Phone rings... I pick up. I'm "D", she's "K".
D: Hello.
K: Hey, I just got your email so I thought it was a good time to call. You're not playing your game right?
D: No, I'm just finishing lunch. Wait. Holy shit, the sun is out! What day is it?
L: The 19th. Why?
D: I have not seen the sun in exactly one month. The rain started coming on December 19th, right? It's been an entire month without sun. 31 days.
K: Wow, what are you going to do celebrate.
D: I don't know. Maybe I'll go outside and frolick.
K: What the hell!
D: What's wrong?
K: There's giant military heicopters flying overhead, like the ones that flew over the Seahawks game last week.
D: Blackhawks? Are they the orange Coast Guard ones?
K: No, they're actually black this time.
D: That's not good. You don't want to be anywhere near those. Are they hovering in place?
K: No, they're just flying around.
D: Okay, well try to stay directly under them because their missiles and rockets have a horizontal trajectory. The safest place is right under them.
K: Okay, I'll keep that in mind. I'll try to stay under them.
D: Ohhhhh.... shit!
K: What's wrong?
D: The sun is out but it's raining. What the hell is with this weather?
K: It's a cruel joke.
D: This sucks. I'm going back to work. See you tonight. Love ya.
K: Love you too, see you tonight.
click.
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