Marriage is a Contract

"Can you do me three favors tomorrow?"

Kristin does all of my faxing and shipping and with how busy she's been lately, I wasn't about to say no to her. Especially since I'm currently at a standstill with work, waiting on a firmware update.

"Sure." I said, not a small bit worried about what these requests will be.

"Okay, first I need you to vacuum the upstairs. Then I need you to vacuum the rug downstairs".

I grab a piece of paper from my pad to show her how serious I'm taking this and write 1) Vacuum upstairs & downstairs.

"Then I need you to sweep the downstairs floor and kitchen."

I proptly write 2) Sweep downstairs and look to her for more.

"That's it. That was three."

"No, that was two. I distinctly recall you saying there were three favors."

"Well, I thought you would consider vacuuming upstairs separate from vacuuming downstairs. That's all I have."

"That doesn't make any sense. Naturally once the vacuum is out, I might as well do both. You requested three favors. I made a verbal committment to perform three favors for you. You only having two favors is a breech of contract and relinquishes me of any responsibility to perform any and all favors. I want to help you, but I can't out of respect for the agreements we make as husband and wife."

She cocks her head to the side, squints her eyes a little and gives me a look not unlike the one I gave someone last week after hearing him say that he honestly likes Ann Coulter. It's an expression of horror, shock, and disbelief wrapped up in one subtle but powerful facial contortion.

"Fine. I just thought of a third favor for you. Clean the entire house. That makes three."

She thinks she may have won this round, but we'll see who gets the last laugh when I sleep in until noon.