Are you fired up about the big game tonight with the Padres?
Who?
The San Diego Padres, Seattle's National League rival.
Rival? The Padres?
Oh sure, didn't you see it in my strategy guide for MLB2k7? The Mariners official rivals are Oakland, Anaheim, and San Diego.
Umm... why?
Well, Oakland and Anaheim for obvious reasons, but I hear the Mariners and Padres share a spring-training facility in Arizona.
So, wouldn't that make them friends and not rivals?
Yeah, but the Mariners traded Jeff Cirillo to the Padres a few years ago and San Diego held a grudge. Now they have a very heated rivalry.
I can understand being mad at the team that gives you Cirillo in a trade, but how heated is the rivalry?
Well, I once ran into a Mariner fan who knew the names of no less than two Padres.
That's not a lot. How can they be a rival if nobody knows who they are?
We know who they are. They're the Padres. They play in San Diego and fans get free Snausages and Milk-Bones when they visit the ballpark care of the coporate sponsor. And Mike Piazza used to play for them (or so I read on the Oakland Athletics website).
Right, I get all that. But what about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer? Shouldn't Mariners fans know the names of most members of the Padres if you hate them so much.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I never said anything about hate. I just said that a videogame says they're our rivals. It must be true, right. The videogame wouldn't lie?
...
Fine, be that way. I've got tickets in right-field. I can't wait to heckle Tony Gwynn.
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