Rain Falling On Duck's Feathers

I was browsing the web today looking at the upcoming Xbox 360 games and a game titled "Surf's Up" caught my eye. I surf. Or, at least I do once every 18-24 months when I travel someplace warm and coastal. But more importantly to this conversation is that I believe I've played every surfing videogame that's come down the pike. Heck, I spent every lunch hour in 8th grade (ahem, 1989, cough) at a friend's house playing the surfing mini-game in "California Games" on his Sega Master System. So how is it that a surfing game is releasing next week and I've never heard of it?

Upon further inspection, the reason was obvious. Also clearly apparent is that I'm going to have nightmares tonight from what I've uncovered.

"Surf's Up" is based on a upcoming children's movie. Strike one.

"Surf's Up" features animals surfing at fictional locales. Strike two.

"Surf's Up" contains gameplay that bears no resemblance to actual surfing. Strike three.

I learned all of this about the game and yet, for some reason, was still somewhat intrigued. After all, I've never passed on a surfing game in nearly 20 years.

So I watched the gameplay video on IGN. What I saw defies description. It was a penguin. On a surfboard. Flying through the air. I have no idea exactly what drugs the game designers were taking during development but with trick names like "Celestial Sun of Morning", "Cherry Blossoms Fall and Scatter", and "Flight of Swallow" (not to mention the inspiration behind the title of this post), it's clear they were on some good shit. The surfboard also apparently has an engine capable of spewing flames for extra propulsion. And propulsion is a good word to describe it, being that the penguin appears interested in actually touching the water's surface a scant fraction of the time.

Perhaps the most peculiar thing I saw in the video was that one of the tricks were called "Love of Truth". Hmm... I'll let you meditate on the irony within that one while I go take a shower. I suddenly feel very, very dirty.