So That's Who Buys Them

Every Thursday I head to the Redhook Brewery in Woodinville to ride a 20 mile mountain bike ride with friends. And each week, after the ride, we head inside for beer and food. Usually around 9:30 or so, I start the drive home, which takes about 35 minutes or so. I always stop at a 7-11 in Redmond for a cup of coffee and, if I'm feeling particularly sweet-toothed, I'll grab a pack of Ho-Hos or Zingers.

As I left the line at the register last night to grab my pack of Ho-Ho's, a rather large male, probably mid-20's in age, with a black death metal t-shirt on stepped in line in front of me. He had nothing in his hands, so in my head I started placing bets with myself on what he's going to ask for. The guy at the front had a bunch of items, so I even had time to think up some odds for each item I imagined the guy grabbing.

Carton of Marlboro Cigarettes - 3:1

Jugs and/or Hustler magazine - 6:1

Two hot-dogs with nacho cheese - 8:1

Handful of individual cigars (blunts) - 11:1

Pre-Paid Phone card - 25:1

Never would I have imagined seeing what I saw. The man gets to the counter, unfurls a gigantic gorilla-shaped hand from deep within the pocket of his cut-off shorts, and promptly grabs a handful of vials of "5 Hour Energy" from the display on the counter, as if it was the most normal purchase one could make at a 7-11. He grabbed three or four vials in one fell swoop much like I used to grab Tootsie-Rolls from the old 5-cent bins of candy on the lower shelf. I had never seen anyone anywhere buy one of these vials of pure caffeine, let alone expect to see a non-truckdriver grab several at once.

As much fun as trying to predict his purchases while waiting in line was, I was almost scared to think of what he might do with multiple vials of "5 Hour Energy". I'll leave it to your imagination.

You better stock up!