Now Tastes Better

Friends of ours are staying with us while they wait to close on their house and the other night they brought home a bag of Doritos snack chips. But there was something odd about their chips. The bag had a label on it that read "Now Tastes Better".

I thought Doritos always tasted pretty good. Why would you say "Now Tastes Better"? Doesn't that sort of imply that your product never really tasted that good? For a snack that's been on the market for as long as I can remember, that just sounds plain silly. And confusing.

I didn't taste the new better-tasting Doritos because, well, I'm scared I might like them. And then what? Then I'll have to live my life knowing that I was previously enjoying food that even its makers found to be unpalatable. That's a blow to my ego I don't think I can withstand. And what if I don't like it? Then I have to go on knowing that not only do I not mind eating crap-tasting food, but that I actually prefer it!

****dialing phone****

Hi babe, it's me. Can you pick up some Fritos on the way home tonight? No, don't get the Doritos, there's too much emotional baggage involved with them right now. I know I used to like them, but trust me, it's just not safe. Fritos. Yep, the small corn chips. Okay, love you too. Talk to you later. Thanks.

1 comment:

Criscipline said...

If those marketers had only inserted the word 'even' you would not be experiencing this trauma.

Now tastes even better! Now that makes me think, damn, they were good before and now they're even better. I'd eat them.

Actually, I wouldn't and nor should you. Kettle cooked chips are the only way to go. Boardwalk Salt & Vinegar kettle cooked chips. (Insert Homer's drooling sound here.)