Doorbell Ditch

So I'm sitting in my office, working dilligently trying to finish one book by Saturday so I can start and finish another by Wednesday (yes, I'm being literal) and I hear a bunch of boys laughing outside. Nothing out of the ordinary, there. My neighbors surround me with an army of boys ranging in age from 8 to about 14 or so. Five seconds later the doorbell rings. I didn't hear a Fed-Ex truck so I assume it's the little girls across the street wanting to play with my dogs. But a part of me also suspects that, perhaps, the boys are feeling a bit daring and are going to ring the doorbell and run and hide. In the moment it took to push away from my desk I figured that yes this was very much what was going on -- I always expect the worst, it's how I am. So I bound down the stairs in about three strides and open the door.

I see nobody. No surprise there. But I turn to my left in time to see the boys trying to enter their house right next door.

"Hi there boys."

"Umm...." They clearly didn't expect me get to the door so quickly. Talk about getting your hands caught in the cookie jar.

"I used to play doorbell ditch when I was your age too. Don't worry, I'm not mad. But you really ought to pick a house that you don't live next to. And maybe one where the people won't actually suspect that's what's going. It's only funny if you catch the person off-guard. I heard you boys laughing through my window before you rang the doorbell and knew that's what you were up to."

They were speechless. I did get an "uh-huh" and a very scared nod of the head. Clearly they were worried I would tell their dad. But I won't do that. I did a hell of a lot worse than play doorbell ditch when I was a kid (although we had a very un-PC name for it back then that I won't repeat) so I'll let them have their fun. So long as my house never gets egged or TP'd or anything happens to my car, I don't care what they do.

No, that's not true. They ring my doorbell again today and I'll have no choice but to duct-tape them to the lamppost.

3 comments:

Criscipline said...

Did you get that "duct tape them to the lamppost" from the new Peyton Manning commercial last night but substitute lamppost for goalpost?

Doug Walsh said...

Nope, I wrote it at 3:38pm, about 2 hours before the game. It was an edit. I had "snap their friggin' necks" first but I thought that sounded a litle harsh. LOL!

Criscipline said...

LOL - yeah, the lamppost comment is funny - the snapping - violent

Good edit