- "A Word of Warning from Urinals"
- "Polo-Playing Elephant Run Amok, Hurts 2"
- "Rhino on Loan for Love"
These headlines not only were all in the same paper, but on the same page. I could be wrong, but I'm sure I heard a faint popping sound emanating from within my brain. Thinking that this was my chance to flip the page before my head exploded, I quickly grabbed for the sports section and was relieved to find an article about homophobic athletes and their recent gay-bashing. It's good to know that as crazy as somethings get in this world, we can always rely on professional athletes to help maintain the status quo.