A War We Can't Win

Forget drugs and underage drinking and everything else politicians and media types feel the need to declare war against. We all know the real problem is obesity. And I'm here to say we can't win it. We just can't.

Not as long as grocery stores sell ten boxes of Little Debbie snacks for $10. I'm not talking about ten individual snack cakes at a dollar apiece, but rather ten boxes of snack cakes at a dollar apiece. Who can resist that? I can't.

I never buy boxes of Hostess or Little Debbie snacks, but dammit, at a buck a box? Hell yeah, I'm getting some. Depending on whether you get the Oatmeal Cream Cookies or the Jelly Rolls or the Nutty Bars, you might find yourself getting the individually wrapped snack for a dime. A DIME!

Imagine if packs of Gu were only a dime each or if you could get an entire box of Cliff Bloks for a buck or two? Ha, for that matter imagine only paying a dollar for a bottle of Oddwalla juice. Or what about a plain old apple? Can you get an apple for a dime? Hell no, you can't.

You couldn't even buy the ingredients to make ten boxes of Oatmeal Cream Cookies for ten dollars.This is disgusting. Little Debbie ain't nothing but a crack dealing bitch in pigtails. Shame on you Little Debbie. And shame on the grocerty stores for tilting the odds in her favor. You're all enablers! Every last one of you!

Kristin: If you're reading this, the Safeway in Issaquah is having a crazy-ass sale on this stuff. Can you pick up another box of Jelly Rolls? We're almost out. Thanks. Love ya!


Jackie said...

I'm in PERFECT agreement. I never need to go to the supermarkets anymore since I moved to south Brooklyn where we have a wholesale produce place and meat markets, etc. because all that's in the supermarkets is JUNK!

But yes, we've had the same conversations around the dinner table calling for politicians to do some good by improving the health of the nation. Not only would people be happier and more productive, but health care costs wouldn't be as high.

I didn't pick you up any Little Debbies, but I could send you a batch of my "famous" brownies--once you've had one, you'll never want anyone else's brownies again! It's no wonder that people always beg for their own batch of "birthday brownies" each year. :-)

NobbyNick said...

Check out the The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals "


I'm actually only a third of the way through it and it's due back so I ordered a copy. Enjoyable to read and very very interesting.


Doug Walsh said...

Thanks for the book recommendation, Nick. I'll have to pick that up the next time I'm in B&N -- 38 ingredients in a McNugget? Yikes.

Jackie, I'm always up for free brownies. Especially if they're famous. That'd be awesome!