Detritus of Stuffing, Glass Eyes, Amber Fur and Other Ursine Innards

On Tuesday night, at a tourist attraction named Wookey Hall Caves in western England, Barney, a doberman pinscher guard dog, briefly went berserk, running amok among a collection of teddy bears, including a 1909 German Steiff bear called Mabel reputed to have belonged, once upon a time, to Elvis Presley.

"It could have been the scent of Elvis" that triggered the attack, said Daniel Medley, a spokesman for the 70-acre site near Wells in Somerset. Or maybe Barney was nothing but a hound dog.

But whatever it was, Barney chewed, tore, ripped and otherwise savaged around 100 teddy bears before his handler, Greg West, was able to restrain him.

If the thought of a doberman going all Mike Tyson on a collection of rare teddy bears isn't funny enough for you, there's this:

There's been no suggestion that Barney should be put down," Medley said.

"But we don't want him back here. In fact, dogs are now banned from the teddy bear collection."

I'm not sure what's odder, the fact that they allowed dogs in what amounts to an expensive chew-toy exhibit or that there is a reporter who felt the need to ask if the dog was going to be put down. Ummm... hello? The dog really doesn't deserve the death penalty for what amounts to vandalism. Besides, I'm sure that "rogue scent" of Elvis would definitely help win the dog an insanity plea. I know how I get just hearing an Elvis song, I can't imagine the horror of smelling his fat, rotten ass.

Full story here.

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