I Almost Had Her

Me: Honey, you ironed a huge crease into these pants. I can't even go out of the house to get coffee in these.

Her: Sorry about that. You can still go get coffee.

Me: No I can't out of consideration for you. You have two choices: I can either take off my wedding ring and wear the creased pants, at which time women will see me and say "You poor man, you don't know how to iron and I bet you're probably lonely. Let me come over and iron for you and take care of all your other needs."

Her: Yeah, right.

Me: Or, I can leave the wedding ring on and those same women will then think "That poor man, his wife has no idea how to iron and I heard she's a total bitch. I ought to invite him over for lunch one afternoon while she's at work."

Her: Ooohhhh....

Me: See, babe, out of consideration for your feelings and our marriage, I can't leave the house until you re-iron these pants.

Her: How about I go into the coffee shop with you? Nobody will say anything then, they'll be too busy looking at me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That's my girl! Keep him on his toes.