The Previous Level

If only it were that easy...

COLUMBIA, SC - Following a romantic three-day getaway to South Carolina's
Hilton Head Island, 32-year-old Matthew Sullivan said he is now "more ready than
ever" to take his 10-month relationship with girlfriend Carol Moag to the
previous level.

"After spending every waking moment with Carol for 72 hours, I know in my
heart that I'm prepared to see her face twice, maybe even once a week," said
Sullivan, who met Moag, 34, at a friend's New Year's party in January.

Read the rest of this hysterical article from The Onion here.

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