Warning: Sea Lion May Be a Jerk

According to the paper today, there's a sea lion in a popular public swimming lagoon in San Francisco that has so far bitten 14 people and chased 10 others out of the water. City officials closed the lagoon to swimming "until the testy marine mammal has moved on."

Now, at this point in the story I was pretty much distracted by the fact that people are doing much swimming in San Francisco in November. Ahh, but the story continues...

"Experts say the rogue sea lion could be protecting his harem of mates or might have brain damage from toxic algae.

What? Isn't that kind of an extreme hypothesis? Sure, he probably is just protecting his harem. If I had a harem I would certainly fight to protect it, that goes without saying. But to blame biting people on toxic algae-induced brain damage? Does it really have to be that dramatic? Is there no chance that this one sea lion isn't really just an asshole? Couldn't that be possible too? Or, come to think of it, maybe he just doesn't like humans. We homo-sapiens are always saying how dolphins are so much cuter than sharks, or that some of us are dog-people while others are cat-people. Maybe this sea lion just prefers chimpanzees? Maybe he just doesn't like the hairless-human version of bipeds. Or maybe every time he goes swimming, humans are constantly trying to pet him and tickle his whiskers. That shit would get old quick. If everytime I went swimming, some creature from another species tried to give me a wet-willy or rub my belly, I'd get pissed off too.

Then again, I know my wife occasionally wonders if I too have brain damage. Or at least been dropped on my head. Hmm, maybe the scientists are onto something with that toxic algae...

No comments: